from the Elmira (NY) Star-Gazette, 1/19/03 (www.stargazette.com):

Atlanta Man Found Special Kinsman in Elmira

by John P. Cleary

Andrew Rosenberg, who lived most of his life in institutions, died in October at the Chemung ARC group home on Liberty Street in Elmira. No one will know what Andy understood in his final days, but it's clear he knew that he wasn't alone.

Jeff Rosenberg formed a bond with his uncle, Andy Rosenberg, before Andy died in October. With him in his last days were his two families. One was the family connected by love, the staff members and fellow residents of the Liberty Street home. The other was the family connected by blood, and the nephew who, until a few months earlier, never knew he had an uncle.

In 2000, doctors determined that Andy was dying of cancer. Chemung ARC soon learned that Andy's only known relative had died, but then discovered that Andy had a nephew living in Georgia.

So Jeff Rosenberg, 38, a corporate attorney in Atlanta, learned last year that he had an uncle in New York.

Last spring, while visiting Syracuse and Ithaca, Jeff and his wife, Coleen Rosenberg, decided to meet Andy. "We couldn't be so close and not go," said Jeff. "The hardest part was calling up and asking if it was OK. "That was the most important thing, to make sure that it was going to be in Andy's best interest."

Jeff was nervous. Andy was seriously challenged -- Jeff had been told that Andy had the mental capacity of a 1-year-old -- and he wasn't sure how he would be received by the ARC staff. "You really never know what to anticipate," he said. "All these thoughts run through your mind. It was an incredibly emotional experience. "I think what really made it very easy was the fact that all of the people at Chemung ARC cared for him like he was their own."

In the months that followed, Chemung ARC kept Jeff updated on Andy's condition. Jeff and Coleen sent him gifts for his birthday in August and planned to visit again this winter. "We had corresponded with the staff from Chemung ARC," he said. "Once they understood we were interested, they kept us fully updated and sent us all the reports. They told us how much he had loved our birthday presents.

"From our earlier trip and all our discussion, we kind of felt like Chemung ARC was our extended family."

In the fall, however, Andy's condition worsened, and it was soon clear his life was nearly over. "When we saw him, we didn't think his death was imminent," Jeff said. "He had hung in there for so long, we fully expected to visit him again."

ARC staff contacted Jeff and told them he was declining fast. "They called about noon on a Sunday and said that if we wanted to see Andy again, we better come now," he said. "At that point, we made arrangements to take the first flight out on Monday to see him."

In the two days before his death, Jeff and Coleen sat with Andy, telling him stories about his family. "We felt an extraordinary bond with him," he said. "He was family to us, and even though, according to the doctors, he only had the mental capacity of a 1-year-old, he knew who we were and knew we were friends."

Dozens of former and current Chemung ARC employees attended Andy's funeral. "They didn't have to, but wanted to," Jeff said. "It was like a member of the family had passed away.

"When Andy first got there, he wouldn't accept any affection, wouldn't let anyone touch him. He was combative," he said. "But in the last few years of his life, after living in institutions, he finally understood what it was like to live in a loving home."

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